前后加起來,我在北京已經(jīng)住了四十多年,算是一個(gè)老北京了。②北京的名勝古跡,北京的妙處,③我應(yīng)該說是了解的;其他老北京當(dāng)然也了解,但是有一點(diǎn),我相信絕大多數(shù)的老北京并不了解,④這就是黎明時(shí)分以前的北京。
多少年來,我養(yǎng)成了一個(gè)習(xí)慣:每天早晨四點(diǎn)在黎明以前起床工作。我不出去跑步或散步,而是一下床就干活兒,因此我對黎明前的北京的了解是在屋子里感覺到的。我從前在什么報(bào)上讀過一篇文章,⑤講黎明時(shí)分天安門廣場上的清潔工人。那情景必然是非常動(dòng)人的,可惜我從未能見到,只是心向往之而已。
四十年前,我住在城里在明朝曾經(jīng)是特務(wù)機(jī)關(guān)的東廠里面。幾座深深的大院子,在最里面三個(gè)院子里只住著我一個(gè)人,朋友們都說這地方陰森可怕,晚上很少有人敢來找我,我則恰然自得。⑥每當(dāng)夏夜,我起床以后,立刻就聞到院于里那些高大的馬纓花樹散發(fā)出來的陣陣幽香,這些香氣破窗而入,我于此時(shí)神清氣爽,樂不可支,連手中那一支笨拙的筆也仿佛生了花。
幾年以后,我搬到西郊來往,照例四點(diǎn)起床,坐在窗前工作。白天透過窗子能夠看到北京展覽館那金光閃閃的高塔的尖頂,此時(shí)當(dāng)然看不到了。⑦但是,我知道,即使我看不見它,它仍然在那里挺然聳人天空,仿佛想帶給人以希望,以上進(jìn)的勁頭。我仍然是樂不可支,心也仿佛飛上了高空。
過了十年,我又搬了家。這新居既沒有馬纓花,也看不到金色的塔頂,但是門前卻有一片清碧的荷塘。剛搬來的幾年,池塘里還有荷花。夏天早晨四點(diǎn)已經(jīng)算是黎明時(shí)分。在薄暗中透過窗子可以看到接大蓮葉,而荷花的香氣也幽然襲來,⑧我顧而樂之,大有超出馬纓花和金色塔頂之上的意味了。
難道我欣賞黎明前的北京僅僅由于上述的原因嗎?不是的。三十幾年以來,我成了一個(gè)“開會(huì)迷”。⑨說老實(shí)話,積三十年之經(jīng)驗(yàn),我真有點(diǎn)怕開會(huì)了,在白天,一整天說不定什么時(shí)候就會(huì)接到開會(huì)的通知,說一句過火的話,我簡直是提心吊膽,心里不得安寧。即使不開會(huì),這種惴惴不安的心情總擺脫不掉。只有在黎明以前,根據(jù)我的經(jīng)驗(yàn),沒有哪里會(huì)來找你開會(huì)的。⑩因此,我起床什桌子旁邊一坐,仿佛有什么近似條件反射的東西立刻就起了作用,我心里安安靜靜,一下子進(jìn)入角色,拿起筆來,“文思”⑾(如果也算是文思的話)如,泉水噴涌,記憶力也像剛磨過的刀于,銳不可當(dāng)。此時(shí),我真是樂不可支,如果給我機(jī)會(huì)的話,我簡直想手舞足蹈了。
因此,我愛北京,特別愛黎明前的北京。
Predawn Beijing
Ji Xianlin
Translated by Zhang Peiji
I've been in Beijing altogether for over 40 years. So I can well call myself a long-timer of Beijing. Like all other long-timers of the city, I'm supposed to be very familiar with its scenic spots and historical sites, nay, its superb attractions. But I believe there is one thing lying unknown to most of the long-time residents - the predawn hours of Beijing.
For many years, I have been in the habit of get- ting up before daybreak to start work at four. Instead of going out for a jog or walk, I' 11 set about my work as soon as I'm out of bed. As a result, it is from inside my study that I've got the feel of predawn Beijing. Years ago, I hit upon a newspaper article about street cleaners in Tian'anmen Square at daybreak. It must have been a very moving scene, but what a pity I haven' t seen it with my own eyes. I can only picture it in my mind longingly.
Forty years ago, I lived downtown in Dongchang, a compound which had housed the secret service of the Ming Dynasty. There were inside it several deep spacious courtyards one leading into another. I was the sole dweller of the three innermost courtyards. My friends, calling this place too ghastly, seldom dared to come to see me in the evening whereas I myself found it quite agreeable. In summer, the moment I got out of bed before daybreak, I would smell the delicate fragrance of the giant silk trees coming from outside my window. Thereupon, I would feel refreshed and joyful, and the clumsy pen in my hand would seem to have become as agile as it could.
※本文作者:佚名※