Advice to Girls
Mark Twain delivered this speech on June 9, 1909, at the graduation ceremony of Misses Tewksbury's School in Baltimore, Maryland. Frances Nunnally was graduating and he had promised to attend her graduation. They met on board the Minneapolis during Twain's 1907 trip to England to receive an honorary degree from Oxford University and she became a member of his Aquarium Club. Twain's brief remarks at her graduation was his last public speech.
I don't know what to tell you girls to do. Mr. Martin has told you everything you ought to do, and now I must give you some don'ts.
There are three things which come to my mind which I consider excellent advice:
First, girls, don't smoke -- that is, don't smoke to excess. I am seventy-three and a half years old, and have been smoking seventy-three of them. But I never smoke to excess -- that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
Second, don't drink -- that is, don't drink to excess.
Third, don't marry -- I mean, to excess.
Honesty is the best policy. That is an old proverb; but you don't want ever to forget it in your journey through life.