The Booming of Spring,The Booming of Spring范文
The Booming of Spring
Spring arrives at the school in such a hurry that it is beyond anyone's expectation. After some rather cool days, the tempera ture suddenly rises up, bringing a sudden burst of heat to the whole campus. Spring is coming!
Trees, flowers, grass and people make up the whole scene on the campus. Everyone wakes up and everything is robust.The whole campus is heaped with energy.
Seeing through a thin layer of water vapor, I am surprised at what is gradually unfolded before my eyes. Look, the pear trees are covered with snow white flowers. Some other unknown flowers, pink and scarlet, give life to the brown branches of trees. The grassplots seem to have turned into emerald green overnight. Holding the tiny drops of water in the rain and rising happily towards the passer-by, the grass is showing a rather vivid feeling of spring. The booming trees along the road are trying to shake away old leaves and expecting new ones. Stepping on the fallen leaves, I am fascinated by the rhythm and the mystery of life cycle.
People in spring are as active as the surroundings. The continual rain can not stop students from studying hard. Instead, it quickens their pace of life. The sound of raindrops overwhelms the chatting of students. Colorful umbrellas set artificial separations of people. An atmosphere of study embraces the school.The early sun is an industrious reveille, urging people to be actire and diligent. Students in spring are just like early birds searching for worms. Libraries and classrooms are both nice places for study. There are crowds reading quietly in the libraries and people practicing English aloud in the corners of buildings. Astonished by so many hardworking people, I feel ashamed of wasting time wandering about.
Spring is a season of energy and hope. The booming spring on the campus comes to show us a new leaf of life.
簡(jiǎn) 評(píng)
本文描寫(xiě)了春天來(lái)臨時(shí)，校園中一派生機(jī)勃勃的景象。文章的前半部分寫(xiě)景：有色彩斑斕的花朵，墨綠色的草地和茁壯生長(zhǎng)的樹(shù)木；后半部分寫(xiě)人：與自然界中的萬(wàn)物在春天生命力格外旺盛一樣，莘莘學(xué)子也比其他任何時(shí)候都刻苦勤奮，整個(gè)校園中都呈現(xiàn)出濃濃的學(xué)習(xí)氛圍。最后一段，作者總結(jié)全文：春天是精力旺盛和充滿希望的季節(jié)。
本文存在以下不足之處：第四段中，作者的主旨是描寫(xiě)人，但又不時(shí)地提到環(huán)境，如The sound of raindrops overwhelms the chatting of students.Colorful umbrellas set artificial sevaratlons of people.等，與主題句People ln spring are asactive as the surroundings無(wú)關(guān)，破壞了整個(gè)段落的統(tǒng)一性(unity)。在英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中，一個(gè)段落表達(dá)一個(gè)主題，所有的支持句(supporting sentences)都要圍繞主題句展開(kāi)。此外，最后一句a new leaf of life明顯是中式英語(yǔ)，可改為ushers us to a new stage of life。
(點(diǎn)評(píng)教師：黃鶯)
The Booming of Spring