童年-Childhood

　　Childhood

　　Walking in the charming sunset glow, hearing the fresh laughter wafting from the frolic children in distance, I can not help recalling my past life. The rosy clouds allured my memory;what a wonderful childhood I have got. Childhood is the most colorful time in my life for it is a memory, a mystery and a gift.

　　Childhood is a precious memory.  I still remember that I clinged to my mother listening to her singing the rhymes for me;I still remember that I fought with my old friend desperately just for a red cheery;I still remember I burst into tears the first time I went to schooh I still remember... My childhood is a memory without pressure, competition and hypocrisy. It is the most naire and innocent period which I can not find when I grow up.The valuable memory of my childhood often glitters in my life and moistens it with great joys. Childhood is so wonderful because it creates an unforgettable memory.

　　Childhood is also a charming mystery.  It is like a paperplane flying in the sky. It is like the lonely boat sailing in the sea, though they do not know where they should go, pleasant surprises await them here and there on the way. Compared with the rigid routine life of adults, childhood was full of magic, full of fantasy. I had the great curiosity about all the things around us children, which has been worn gradually by the adult society.Childhood offered me infinite room of imagination. It is like a piece of white paper which I can put any color on to paint my own beautiful picture. This picture is the most wonderful one I can ever imagine because the childhood is full of mystery.

　　Childhood is a valuable gift too. The gift brought me the ability to walk on the street, to speak with others.  The gift endowed me with the initial knowledge about the world. It was in childhood I was fascinated by the story of a falling apple and Newton＇s discovery of gravitation. At that time, I made my decision to devote myself to studying science well, so now I can write this composition in Fudan University.

　　Childhood is a gift which shows me how to become a good person and enables me to acquire various ability. The scene that my parents told me stories like "Kong Rong Rang Li" "Xuan Liang Ci Gu＇often emerges in my mind. The teachings of childhood

　　will influence all my life. When I am tempted to do something bad, what I learnt in my childhood will prevent me from venturing so that I could keep a clear conscience. Childhood was like a benignant teacher instructing me what I did not know and forgiving all my fault. I will cherish the gift childhood gives me because it is the guidance of my life.

　　As a memory, childhood reminded me of the great joys in the old days.  As a mystery, childhood created me a colorful thought. As a gift, childhood flourished my whole life. In my view, childhood is the most wonderful part of my life.

　　簡(jiǎn)  評(píng)

　　有一首中國(guó)臺(tái)灣民謠“童年”，不知打動(dòng)過(guò)多少人的心扉。一年又一年，不見(jiàn)了快樂(lè)的童年，逝去了快樂(lè)的時(shí)光……引起孫越同學(xué)深深的追憶。作者立意新穎，把童年比作快樂(lè)的回憶，神秘的經(jīng)歷和天賦的禮物，抒發(fā)了對(duì)童年的熱愛(ài)留戀之情。

　　可以看出，作者嘗試用大量的比喻和描寫(xiě)來(lái)表達(dá)真情實(shí)感，如“childhood is like a paper-plane flying in the sky，like a piece of white paper"等描寫(xiě)就包含詩(shī)情。但是用外語(yǔ)寫(xiě)好散文談何容易，本文不乏詞不達(dá)意之處，語(yǔ)言也不夠精煉，有些描寫(xiě)也許是依據(jù)中文思維，令人費(fèi)解，如The rosy clouds allured my memory和As a mystery，childhood created me a colorful thought.As a gift，childhood flourished my whole life。另外，正文部分若能增加一些具體的事實(shí)和細(xì)節(jié)，將更能打動(dòng)人心。