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The Fifth Wheel

The Fifth Wheel

  the ranks of the bed line moved closer together; for it was cold. they were alluvial deposit of the stream of life lodged in the delta of fifth avenue and broadway. the bed liners stamped their freezing feet, looked at the empty benches in madison square whence jack frost had evicted them, and muttered to one another in a confusion of tongues. the flatiron building, with its impious, cloud-piercing architecture looming mistily above them on the opposite delta, might well have stood for the tower of babel, whence these polyglot idlers had been called by the winged walking delegate of the lord.

  standing on a pine box a head higher than his flock of goats, the preacher exhorted whatever transient and shifting audience the north wind doled out to him. it was a slave market. fifteen cents bought you a man. you deeded him to morpheus; and the recording angel gave you credit.

  the preacher was incredibly earnest and unwearied. he had looked over the list of things one may do for one's fellow man, and had assumed for himself the task of putting to bed all who might apply at his soap box on the nights of wednesday and sunday. that left but five nights for other philanthropists to handle; and had they done their part as well, this wicked city might have become a vast arcadian dormitory where all might snooze and snore the happy hours away, letting problem plays and the rent man and business go to the deuce.

  the hour of eight was but a little while past; sightseers in a small, dark mass of pay ore were gathered in the shadow of general worth's monument. now and then, shyly, ostentatiously, carelessly, or with conscientious exactness one would step forward and bestow upon the preacher small bills or silver. then a lieutenant of scandinavian coloring and enthusiasm would march away to a lodging house with a squad of the redeemed. all the while the preacher exhorted the crowd in terms beautifully devoid of eloquence - splendid with the deadly, accusative monotony of truth. before the picture of the bed liners fades you must hear one phrase of the preacher's - the one that formed his theme that night. it is worthy of being stenciled on all the white ribbons in the world.

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