Yesterday Once More

　　yesterday once more

　　安徽省巢湖市槐林中學(xué)高三(1)班     王娟娟

　　as though it was yesterday when i was an innocent girl. but everything has gone by so quickly. i have grown up, though i don't want to . there are only three months left , i am going to face the college entrance examination. once upon a time, it was a number worth expecting. but now how cruel it seems! i'm like a butterfly struggling to fly higher, no matter how high the price is ! the process of study used to be endless for me but nowadays the judgement approaches. although this moment is terrifying me, i wouldn't like to give up! i know it is the darkness before dawn and insisting on is the best choice! i'm always believing there is a world belonging to myself and it is i who have the right to decide how big it can be ! what's more, in the near future, i believe i can own what i have been longing for  as long as i don't quit on the road to success!

　　指導(dǎo)教師:  安徽省巢湖市槐林中學(xué)    陳恩友

　　批 改 老 師oscar評(píng)      分92分級(jí)      別優(yōu)秀評(píng)      語

　　批改：

　　1.       as though it was yesterday when i was an innocent girl. but everything has gone by so quickly. 首先，中間句號(hào)用法錯(cuò)誤，應(yīng)該是逗號(hào)；其次因?yàn)榍斑呌衋s though(連詞使用錯(cuò)誤)，所以后邊不能再用but;最后，介詞by多余。

　　2.       there are only three months left , i am going to face the college entrance examination. 這是一句話 ，所以中間應(yīng)該有連詞。

　　3.       once upon a time, it was a number worth expecting. 本句話不知道作者想表達(dá)什么。

　　4.       although this moment is terrifying me, i wouldn't like to give up! 應(yīng)該是give it up.

　　評(píng)析：

　　本文從總體上講，非常流暢，尤其是后半部分，前邊出現(xiàn)了一些語法錯(cuò)誤，當(dāng)然，非常能體會(huì)到作者在高考臨近時(shí)的心情，也祝愿作者能夠?qū)崿F(xiàn)自己的夢(mèng)想—考上自己理想的大學(xué)！