A day trip to Chia Dianosaur Park

　　a trip to china dinosaur park

　　last friday, my classmates and i went on a trip to the china dinosaur park in changzhou. itt was a sunny day and we went there by coach.

　　on the coach, all my classmates were excited about the trip. we were talking and laughing all the way. the one-hour trip seemed very long.

　　finally, at about nine in the morning, we arrived at the park. there were various enjoyments for people to choose. we couldn’t wait to play. our group first went to the crazy firedrake drill. there were not many people there because itt was a little far from the gate.

　　crazy firedrake drill is one of the most exciting games i have ever played. when i first looked at the giant yellow machine, i wasn’t afraid at all. but when i was really on it, i felt a little nervous. first the machine took us to the highest point. we all screamed “ah”. i darednot look down. then it turned around fast and moved at high speed at the same time. the wind was so strong that i couldn’t open my eyes. i felt as if i would fall down and be thrown away. i couldn’t stop screaming through the whole ride. all i could hear was the blowing wind and the loud screams from the excited people. it only moved for a few minutes, but it seemed to be on for many hours. when the game ended, i was too frightened to walk properly as usual. i also felt a little dizzy. later i bought a photo they took during the game. how funny i looked in the photo!

　　later we took part in the game called‘crossing jurassic’. after waiting for half an hour, it was our turn! it was a boat trip. we first got into a boat. the boat went into a tall building like a tunnel. the game was set in the jurassic time. so it seemed that we came into the past in the dinosaur world. it was dark around us. there were quite a few artificial dinosaurs on both sides of the creek. they were eating, drinking or sleeping. one of them was just coming from an egg! they looked like the real ones. and the ‘saliva’ of the models dinosaurs dripped on our heads. from time to time, the model dinosaurs made some frightening shouts, which sounded terrible. the game ended with a sudden rush from a very high rail into a big pool. when we finished the game, my hair and clothes were all wet. what an exciting experience!

　　it was a fun and meaning experience. it is unforgettable. i wish to visit it again sometime soon.

　　批 改 老 師ycmslzy評      分99分級      別優(yōu)秀批      改

　　這是一篇非常優(yōu)秀的習(xí)作。下面幾處算是吹毛求疵吧：

　　1.第一段：itt  （it）was a sunny day  and we went there by coach. 

　　第三段：because itt （it）was a little far from the gate. 

　　2.第四段：i darednot  （dared not）look down.

　　3.第四段：i was too frightened to walk properly （normally   此處換為：不能正常走路應(yīng)該更好些）as usual.

　　4.第四段：later i bought a photo they （others   they有點指代不明）took during the game.

　　5.最后一段：it was a fun and meaning （fascinating and meaningful    fun為名詞；“有意義的”應(yīng)為meaningful ）experience.

　　參考例句(文)

　　1. it was a sunny day and we went there by coach.      because it was a little far from the gate.

　　2.i dared not look down.

　　3.i was too frightened to walk normally as usual.

　　4.later i bought a photo others took during the game. 

　　5.it was a fascinating and meaningful experience.