中考英語作文范文及評析：提示作文2
【習作要求】
以"My Mother"為題，寫一篇120字左右的短文。需包括以下要點：
(1) 媽媽的身材不高，稍胖，圓臉，長發(fā)。
(2) 媽媽是家庭主婦，每天起床很早，為全家人做飯。
(3) 早飯前做些家務(wù)，飯后送孩子上學。雖然她沒有很多錢，卻常給我們買好衣服和學習用品。
(4) 媽媽晚上睡得晚，她總有很多活要做。
(5) 媽媽勤勞，我愛媽媽。
【學生習作】 My Mother
My mother is not tall and short (1). She is a little fat. She has a round face and long hairs (2).
My mother is a housewife. She is very busy every day. She get to(3) up very early every morning. She gets up at about five thirty. After that she begins to cook for the family.
Before breakfast, she does some housework. After breakfast, she sends our children (4) to school. She always tells us study hard (5). She has not many (6) money, but she often buys us some nice clothes and school things.
My mother goes to bed very late every night. She always has a lot of work to be done. (7)
My mother is hard-working. I love her very much.
�。�1）如果說"她中等身材"，應該說： She is of medium height.
�。�2）hair是不可數(shù)名詞，不能用復數(shù)形式。
�。�3）改為gets。主語是第三人稱單數(shù)時，動詞也應變?yōu)橄鄳娜龁涡问健?
�。�4）此處"我們孩子"是同位詞組，"我們"與"孩子"之間是同位關(guān)系，應將其改成：us children。
�。�5）這里應使用動詞不定式，即tell us to do something。
（6）money 為不可數(shù)名詞，前面應用much修飾，而不能用many。
�。�7）這里的動詞不定式to do的邏輯主語是she，它們之間是主動關(guān)系，所以動詞不定式應用主動形式。
【名師點評】
作者以細膩的筆法描寫了一位勤勞而又善良的母親，全文充滿了對母親的感激之情，語言流暢，表達生動，很有教育意義。小作者文中存在如第2處第6處等名詞方面的錯誤，以及第5處、第7處等動詞不定式方面的錯誤，小作者寫完之后要是能夠認真檢查，多修改幾遍，這些錯誤是可以避免的。