My Favorite One to Be with
My friend! Do you enjoy being with your best friend? You might say, "Yeah, of course, why not?" Well, so do L Now,I'd like to tell you about my favorite one to be with.
Her name is Perssy. She has two brilliant eyes, a bean nose, and a cherry mouth. When she is walking, her golden and curling hair wafts in the wind. Oh! You may think that I have a devilishly charming girlfriend. Well, I am sorry to tell you that Perssy is only a lovely little dog.
Perssy is dear but naughty. Every morning, she punctually and gently jumps onto my bed, barking and dragging my quilt until I get up. With Perssy, I always feel she is just like my nurse maid. But thanks to Perssy, I don't need an alarm clock any longer and can hardly be late for school.
Perssy enjoys walking with me. After supper, we wander together to the nearest park. Perssy just runs in front of me,stops suddenly, turning around, watching me for a while, and then runs along again. I can only follow her slowly and patiently.
Once inside the park, I sit on the grassland, playing my guitar, chanting some soft songs while Perssy shows great excitement, swirling her head, shaking her little downy tail to the music. She acts as if she were really an excellent dancer. When tired, Perssy leans her head on my back, sleeping soundly and peacefully. At that time, I watch Perssy carefully, patting her hair tenderly, with the starry sky above us, and I feel as if Perssy and I were blended into one. Both men and animals are created by God and therefore should live in harmony in nature for we really need each other
Perssy, my best friend, my favorite one to be with, you make me know that friends can add color to life and make it more worth living.
簡 評
本文的作者用生動的語言描述了他生活中的親密伙伴——小狗Perssy。文中所記敘的情節(jié)非常具有生活氣息，如Perssy每天早上如何叫我起床，晚飯過后與我一同去公園散步，唱歌跳舞。由此作者聯(lián)想到人類與動物在大自然中應該保持一種和諧的關系。但對小狗為什么成為作者生活中最親密的伙伴的原因，刻畫的深度尚不夠。
文章語言優(yōu)美，用詞準確，如描寫Perssy的外形時，作者用了two brilliant eyes，a bean nose，and a cherry mouth，her gold and curlinghair。在句法層面上，作者嫻熟地運用各種句型，長短句并用，如并列句““On the grassland，playing myguitar，chanting some Soft songs while Perssy shows great excitement，swirling her head，shaking herlittle downytail to the music，描繪出一幅 非常輕松宜人的場景。
(點評教師：黃鶯)