A Spring Morning
It was early in the morning. I was walking along a pebble path, enjoying the unique tranquility and freshness of the early spring. The path was surrounded by a fresh meadow with some bright scattered primroses. Dew glittered upon the grass and the aroma of the soil pervaded the air. Among the grasses, primroses danced with the beat of wind while the gentle caresses of the sun deepened their blush. Looking forward, we could see trees stretching their branches, which scrambled to get more sunlight.With a gust of wind, they waved their arms elegantly and whispered to each other. As I looked up at a branch, I was surprised to find a bird nest there and heard the timid new born creatures' calling. They must be curious about the world around them and wondered where they came from, I surmised.
As I walked, I heard the talk of the wind and smelt the freshness of the air. With the coming of spring, tender leaves and newly sprouted buds unfolded. Flowers were in their full bloom and canopies began to darken. Nature showed me a world of new beginning and new hope, and a feeling arose inside me.
簡 評
本文篇幅雖短，但卻淋漓盡致地展示了春日清晨的寧靜與清新。鋪著鵝卵石的小道被草地圍繞，草地上零星地長著幾朵報春花，隨風起舞，小草上有露珠閃動，空氣中彌漫著泥土的芳香，樹木伸出枝條，枝條上還有一個鳥巢，花蕾含苞待放。作者感受到了春天預示著一個新的開始，帶來新的希望。
作者為我們展示的春的世界中有花，有草，有露珠，有樹枝，有泥土，還有鳥巢；有風聲和幼鳥的鳴叫聲。本文的一大特色是作者多處恰到好處地運用了擬人手法，如primroses danced with the beat Of wind while the gentle caresses of the sun deepened their blusMthey waved their arms elegantly and whispered to each other;the talk of the wind，使這些原本沒有生命的東西在作者筆下都生動起來。
但最后一句意義含糊不清：a feeling arose inside me指什么感覺?最好能直接地抒發(fā)自己的感情，通過寫景來抒情，這樣的描寫文才有高度，有深度。
(點評教師：黃鶯)