Celebrate Me

　　hello, everyone. i am like many girls. i have long hair and big eyes. that’s not very special. but my name is ge hang. do you think it’s a boy’s name?

　　every morning, i get up very early. every evening i go to bed very late. because i am a student. everyday i have a lot of homework. that makes me very tired. but i feel very happy.

　　i have many hobbies. for example, i like watching tv. when i am watching tv, my mom calls my name very loudly: ge hang, ge hang! but i can’t hear it. i like singing songs. but i don’t like popular songs. i think it’s like noise. i also like doing sports. i like playing badminton. sometimes, i play badminton with my family. i think it is very fun.

　　i like my family. my family is like a plant. why does my family look like a plant? because a plant has four main parts. and my family also has four people—— my father，my mother，my brother and me. my father is like the root. because roots bring water from the ground to the plant. my father works hard. he makes money for us. he is my family’s root. my mother is like a flower. is it because flowers are beautiful? no, no! because flowers can make seeds. a new plant grows from seeds. my brother and i are my mother’s seeds. my mother is also like the leaves. because leaves can make food for the plant. everyday my mother cooks delicious food for us. so she is like the leaves too. my brother and i are like the seeds. maybe in ten more years, i will grow into a pretty plant. maybe i will be the prettiest flower at the top of the plant. i think i will be very excellent!

　　郵編：073100

　　河北省保定市曲陽縣第二初級中學(xué)東校區(qū)八年級（4）班 葛航 指導(dǎo)教師：葛靜敏

　　批 改 老 師yeying評      分98分級      別優(yōu)秀批      改

　　1.i am like many girls. 與上下文形成對比，建議改為 i'm the same as many other girls.

　　2.that’s not very special. that指代不明確，應(yīng)改為 i'm  not  very special.

　　3.because i am a student. everyday i have a lot of homework .everyday 應(yīng)寫成every day . 分句一般不獨(dú)立存在，故because i am a student.不得體。改為as  a student,i have a lot of homework  to do every day .

　　4.that makes me very tired. but i feel very happy. 應(yīng)合而為一：that makes me very tired but very happy. 刪去i feel .

　　5. when i am watching tv, my mom calls my name very loudly: .. when改為 while.

　　6.i think it’s like noise.it’s 改為 they're.

　　7.my father，my mother，my brother and me. me 換成 i 更符合習(xí)慣。

　　8.because roots bring water from the ground to the plant.   bring 改為can bring  . from  the ground 改為from  under the ground .

　　9.everyday my mother cooks delicious food for us..everyday  改為every day .

　　參考例句(文)

　　1.green leaves can make food

　　2. plant grow  from seeds.

　　3.these plants have very deep roots.

　　4.it makes me very tired but  happy.

　　5.his dream is the same as mine.

　　6.i'm not very special.