Go Well

　　there were many vestiges of houses everywhere.people never gave up to look for.

　　suddenly,“there was a dead woman.”a person said loudly.

　　this woman kneeled down.a big rock was on her body.and it changed her body's shape.she was like protecting something .she was a monument.

　　“i was sure that she was a mother.” this person said again.finally,he found a baby.

　　that doctor examined him in a hurry.and he is alive and not hurt.the doctor saw a letter was beside his clothes.the letter said“dear baby:if you are alive,you must remember i love you.”

　　this was what she used life to write.the sentence made all people cry sadly.

　　in sichuan,a young life stayed at 14:28 on may 12 in forever.

　　she proved what a real mother this is to us.she is also our mother.

　　mum,you are on your way to paradise! please go well.

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　　河北省保定市曲陽縣第二初級中學(xué)東校區(qū)八年級（3）班 崔曉彤 指導(dǎo)教師 ：葛靜敏

　　批 改 老 師tianya0595評      分91分級      別優(yōu)秀批      改

　　go well

　　there were many vestiges (1)of houses everywhere.people never (2)gave up to look for(3).

　　suddenly,“there was (4)a dead woman.”a person said loudly.

　　this woman kneeled down.a big rock was on her body.and it changed her body's shape.she was like protecting something .she was a monument (5).

　　“i was (6)sure that she was (7) a mother.” this (8)person said again.finally,he found a baby.

　　that (9)doctor examined him in a hurry.and he is alive and not hurt (10).the doctor saw a letter was beside ⑾ his clothes.the letter said“dear baby:if you are alive,you must remember i love you.”

　　this was what she used life to write.the sentence made all people cry sadly.

　　in sichuan,a young life stayed at 14:28 on may 12 in forever.

　　she proved what a real mother this ⑿ is to us.she is also our mother.

　　mum,you are on your way to paradise! please ⒀ go well.

　　(1)  vestige更多的是指“歷史遺址”，建議改為：ruins（廢墟）

　　(2)  never “從不”，建議改為：didn't “沒有（放棄）”

　　(3) “放棄做某事”give up doing sth. ；此處應(yīng)改為：give up searching（放棄搜索）

　　(4)  一般來說，對話中的句子用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)，以表示對話的情景性。

　　錯(cuò)誤(4)、(7)中的was均應(yīng)改為：is；(6)was應(yīng)改為：am

　　(5)  monument（紀(jì)念碑）；可能小作者的愿意是想說“她就像一座紀(jì)念碑”：she was like a monument.

　　(8) (9) person、doctor都是第二次出現(xiàn)，而且表特指，前面最好用冠詞：the

　　(10)  alive是形容詞，而hurt是動(dòng)詞；前面是肯定含義，后面是否定含義，不能用and表并列；應(yīng)改為用but表轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系

　　此處可改為：he was alive but didn't get hurt

　　(11) beside（在……旁邊），疑此處應(yīng)是inside his clothes（在衣服里面）

　　(12) this 在這里是多余的，應(yīng)去掉

　　(13) please 是第一個(gè)單詞，首字母應(yīng)大寫：please

　　可能小作者對于電子文檔的排版還不熟悉，應(yīng)重新排版。

　　參考例句(文)

　　1. what a great mother!

　　多么偉大的母親！

　　2. she will be alive in our heart for ever.

　　她永遠(yuǎn)活在我們心中。

　　3. she protected her baby at the last moment of her life.

　　在她生命的最后一刻，她護(hù)住了自己的孩子。