父母與子女(Parents and Kids)
父母與子女(parents and kids)
many parents who welcome the idea of turning off tv and spending more time with the family are still worded that without tv they would constantly be on call as entertainers for their children. they remember thinking up all sorts of things to do when they were kids. but their own kids seem different,less resourceful, somewhat.when there's nothing to do,these parents observe regretfully, their kids seem unable to come up with anything to do besides turning on tv.
one father, for example, says,"when i was a kid, we were always thinking up things to do. we certainly never complain in an annoying way to our parents: '1 have nothing to do! ' "he compares this with his own children today:"they're simply lazy. if someone doesn't entertain them, they' ii hap-
pily sit there watching tv all day."
there is one word for this father's disappointment: unfair. he deplores his children' s lack of inventiveness, as if the ability to play were something innate that his children are missing. in fact, while the tendency to play is built into the human species, the actual ability--to imagine, to invent, to
elaborate--and the ability to gain fulfillment from it are skills that have to be learned and developed.
such disappointment, however, is not only unjust, it is also destructive. sensing their parents' disappointment, children come to believe that they are, indeed, lacking something, and that this makes them less worthy of admiration and respect. giving children the opportunity to develop new re-sources, to enlarge their horizons and discover the pleasures of doing things on their own is, on the other hand, a way to help children develop a confident feeling about themselves as capable and interesting people.
父母與子女
許多贊同關(guān)掉電視、愿意與家人共度更多時(shí)光的父母親仍舊憂心忡忡；沒有了電視，他們得隨時(shí)做好準(zhǔn)備逗自己的孩子開心。他們記得自己小時(shí)候想出各種各樣的招兒來玩�？墒撬麄冏约旱暮⒆铀坪踝兞耍恢醯�，缺乏想象力。這些家長(zhǎng)不無遺憾地注意到，他們的孩子在無所事事的時(shí)候，除了打開電視似乎想不出還有別的什么事可做。
試單一例，一位父親說：“我小時(shí)候，我們總是想出各種各樣的招兒來玩。我們絕不會(huì)惹父母生氣，向他們抱怨：‘我沒事可干!”’他將這一點(diǎn)跟今天他自己的孩子作比較：“他們就是懶，如果沒有人逗他們玩，他們就心滿意足地坐在那里一天到晚看電視。”
對(duì)于這位父親的失望，一言以蔽之：不公平。他對(duì)孩子們?nèi)狈ο胂罅ν葱募彩�，似乎游戲能力是天生的，而他的孩子先天缺乏這種能力。事實(shí)上，盡管游戲的能力是人類固有的，但實(shí)實(shí)在在的游戲能力——想象、創(chuàng)新、精心策劃——以及從中獲得成就感的能力，都是一些需要后天學(xué)習(xí)和培養(yǎng)的技能。
這位父親的失望不僅不公平，而且有害。 當(dāng)孩子們感受到父母的失望，他們就會(huì)逐漸相信他們確實(shí)缺少一點(diǎn)什么，因而不配受人贊賞和尊敬。反之，假如給孩子們機(jī)會(huì)，讓他們開動(dòng)腦筋，開拓視野，發(fā)現(xiàn)自已做事的樂趣，這樣做就可以幫助孩子們建立起自信心——他們也是有能耐、不乏味的人。