Back from Paradise
Where am I? What am I doing? I feel as if floating in the soft air, no pain, even no sense. Through the darkness, I can see a faint light. However, I feel very safe, like a baby in its mother's womb?
I wake up, brilliant rays of light piercing my eyes. At the moment, I am stunned by everything before my eyes. Rivers,like floating ribbons, are embellished with green willows and red peach blossoms. Mountains, shrouded in mist, are surrounded by the flowing water, pure and blue. All these compose a beautiful landscape painting, and I feel as if I had come into it. The wonderful feeling of being alone, the twittering of birds at dawn and the sight of the rising sun shining on trees make me forget everything. I am so intoxicated by the breathtaking beauty that I no longer feel hungry, thirsty or sleepy, free of all desires. My spirit is going outside my body. I talk, I play, I watch and I feel with my soul. I step on the ground and breathe the air. Everything is so clean and fresh. Jade-green willows sway in the breeze, trailing their branches over the lotus carpeted lake. The wet grass gives out a delicate fragrance. I walk along the cobble stone path for a long long time. Time stops still!
The beauty of the place is lasting. However, I begin to feel bored. The memory of the past life, full of challenges, competitions, laugh, pain and love haunts me. I used to fight against fate every day. I enjoyed success after hundreds of failure; I experienced the profound sadness at the departure of my best friend; I felt the heart beating when I talked to my first lover; I treasured the leisure time when I got everything done. But now,I am not the master of my own fate. If only time would fly back so that I could carefully savour and contemplate the beauty of true life!
Everyone is pursuing perfectness. However, if the whole world is perfect, what's the meaning of being a human? Maybe take a stroll, get bored, then?
I love the saying that "I long to alleviate the evil, but I can not, I too suffer."
Paradise is paradise.
Life is just life.
簡 評
本文中，作者憑借著豐富的想像力，描述了他的一次天堂之旅。作者心目中的天堂像一個世外桃源：楊柳和桃花裝飾著綢帶般的河流，山水環(huán)繞，湖面上點綴著蓮花朵朵。作者沉浸在美景中，忘卻了一切煩惱和欲望。然而，作者漸漸地對這種沒有挑戰(zhàn)、競爭，沒有歡樂與痛苦的生活感到了厭煩。作者最終體會到：在這個并不完美的世界中，種種悲歡離合，成功與失敗才是真實的生活，真實的美。
本文非常富有哲理性，表現(xiàn)了作者對人生的思考，對生活的熱愛。在寫作技巧方面，幾句寫景的句子結(jié)構(gòu)平衡，用詞優(yōu)美：Rivers，like floating ribbons，are embellished with green willows and red peach blossoms.Mountains，shrouded in mist，are surrounded by the flowing water，pure and blue.此外，文章的句型豐富，長短句結(jié)合運用，顯示了一定的寫作功底。
(點評教師：黃鶯)