A Memorable Day
One afternoon, it was drizzling. I was on my way home by train. There were only a few passengers in the carriage. When the train reached the station in front of a bridge, two impressive passengers got on, an old and a young. They looked like father and son. And they were both disabled. The old man was blind.The little boy of eight or nine years old had only one eye open,the other closed tightly. The little boy took pains to move with his father. As the train started rumbling again, the little boy's voice got around, "Grandpas, grandmas, uncles and aunts, my honor to meet you. I'm Xiao Ming. Now I will sing a song for you."
Although the song was not very elegant, it sounded cordial and sweet. After several songs, as was expected, the boy began to "beg". Neither did he use a plate, nor did he extend his hands before you. He just said, "Uncles and aunts", then he would keep in silence. Everyone understood what he meant, but they pretended to know nothing. Some even turned their heads aside.
When the boy got to the end of the carriage with empty hands, a middle aged woman screamed with annoyance, "What on hell happens? The beggars are everywhere!" Suddenly all eyes fixed on them. To our surprise, the little boy said slowly and seriously, "Aunt, I'm not a beggar. I live on singing."
At that moment, my eyes misted. I was not aware of who started to applaud. Immediately, the carriage was filled with applause. As I was putting a coin on his hand, I believed that there was no beggar on earth.
簡 評(píng)
本文記敘了作者在回家的火車上遇見的一對(duì)身患?xì)埣�、以賣唱為生的父子，記敘了這對(duì)父子在艱難的生活中仍然保持著做人的尊嚴(yán)，呼吁社會(huì)對(duì)弱勢群體多一點(diǎn)關(guān)懷，少一點(diǎn)冷漠。作者首先描寫了這對(duì)父子的外貌：父親雙目失明，七八歲的小男孩一個(gè)眼睛
睜著，另一個(gè)眼睛緊閉著，行動(dòng)困難。然后，小男孩老練地開始賣唱乞討。但乞討的過程并不順利，不但沒有人給錢，還有一個(gè)婦女故意出言羞辱。出人意料的是，小男孩不卑不亢地回答，“我不是乞丐，我以賣唱為生�！辈唤钏性趫龅娜藶榇硕恼�，也令讀者對(duì)這對(duì)父子在如此艱難的生活中仍然不忘保持做人的尊嚴(yán)而肅然起敬。
文章在結(jié)構(gòu)上層層推進(jìn)，在情節(jié)上有起伏，直至最后的高潮，像一篇微型小說。不足之處是最后一句意義不清：為何我給了他錢，地球上就沒有乞丐了?前面不是已經(jīng)表明此二人并非乞丐?筆者建議在文章的結(jié)尾處可以把觀點(diǎn)表述得更明確、更深刻一些，否則文章的立意似乎高度不夠。
(點(diǎn)評(píng)教師：黃鶯)