I am sad
last week i went and saw the final piano competion. i am sad i did not win the finalist round. they all get to play with the city orchestra. first , yan xiao played, i thought he played very well, but no one agreed with me. a boy from another city named hao hengchuan played extremily well. he played with a lot of passion, and really it was a flawless preformance. yue yongli also played well. she had a lot of fake acting, but i guess it wa good for the judges. honestly, i think i deserve to win. i know it will be my turn next time.
批 改 老 師victory評 分78分級 別優(yōu)良評 語
批改:
1.作文中每一段的首行應(yīng)縮進4個英文字符。
2.第一行went的原型為go做去某地講為不及物動詞因此后面應(yīng)加上to 改為went to 第一行am改為was,因為你在講故事所以應(yīng)用過去時態(tài)。第一行i am sad i did not win the 。。改為i am sad and i did not win the 。。。因為前后是兩個并列的句子中間必須有連詞。
3.第二行finalist改為final因為final本身就是“最后”的意思無級別變化。
4.a boy from another city named hao hengchuan played extremily well.此句為優(yōu)秀句。分別用了介詞短語和分詞作定語。
5 。extremily應(yīng)該為extremely
6.and really it was a flawless preformance. 應(yīng)該為and it was really a flawless preformance.
7.wa改為was
評分:78
評語:首先字?jǐn)?shù)上符合要求,(108個詞)。敘述流暢清晰,簡潔明了。大部分語法點準(zhǔn)確,個別詞匯拼寫不夠準(zhǔn)確,總得來說,達到了題目的要求,是篇不錯的習(xí)作。望今后在時態(tài),及單詞拼寫方面多加注意。另外多積累基礎(chǔ)知識。堅信通過不斷練習(xí)積累會不斷提高的。